


Nice Girls and Bad Boys

by Kivea



Category: South Park
Genre: Aged-Up Character(s), Alternate Universe - Teenagers, Comedy, Humor, M/M, Meet-Cute, Teenagers
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2018-01-23
Updated: 2018-01-23
Packaged: 2019-03-08 13:19:53
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 2,975
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/13459089
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Kivea/pseuds/Kivea
Summary: ‘I’m egging a random person’s house to relieve stress and you join me and as it turns out the house belongs to your ex and now they are chasing us as well as the police and now we’re both in jail waiting to be bailed so um you wanna talk about it?’





	Nice Girls and Bad Boys

**Author's Note:**

> I find my prompts at dailyau.tumblr.com

 

Honestly? He had no idea whose house it was. It had been chosen at random, a cute little suburban cul-de-sac with a white picket fence that would look just  _beautiful_ if it had a little colour on it. He’d got the eggs from a corner shop in passing and it had all been inspired by an intense sense of  _anger_. He knew if he asked Clyde the boy would suggest they had an adventure or something to take his mind off the fight he’d had with his dad, and while he’d been angry, he wasn’t insane.  

Instead his evening found him in the cover of darkness tossing eggs at some random house, which would probably end in more trouble than whatever Clyde could come up with, but only if he got caught. 

When he saw the red mess of frizz and green jacket, he kind of thought he was going to get a lecture. The kind of lecture that Kyle Broflovski was known for. He respected that at least Kyle’s heart was (usually) in the right place, and his sense of morals were higher than a couple of others in his group, but he was still kind of an asshole. 

“Hey,” a tight smile and downcast gaze. “Can I-uh-can I join you?” 

Craig raised a brow, but didn’t question it. Instead he offered the carton over as a test to see if the usually good kid was going to actually follow through. 

A pale hand wrapped round an egg, pulled back, and tossed it straight at the highest window on the left. 

“Nice shot,” Craig commented. 

“Thanks.” 

They went through three more before Kyle spoke up again. It was inevitable, he supposed, but the silence was nice while it lasted. 

“So, why are you egging Lola’s house?” 

He hesitated, brows pulling together as he looked over at the other boy. “Lola…?” 

“Yeah,” he nodded. “This is Lola’s house.” 

“Oh. I don’t know her.” 

“So, what, you just picked a house at random?” 

“Pretty much.” 

Kyle turned back to the building, taking another egg from the half finished box and throwing it back at that same window. Craig studied his face for a moment, noting the unusually placid expression and slumped shoulders. Wasn’t Kyle usually a little more…fiery? 

“Why are  _you_ egging Lola’s house?” 

He shrugged. “She’s my ex. I caught her out one night flirting with older men to get them to buy her alcohol.” 

“Wow.” 

“Yeah.” 

Craig threw the next egg a little harder, aiming for the same window Kyle was going for. “What a bitch.” 

“Pretty much.” 

“On the bright side,” Craig attempted to give a wry smile. “At least now I have justification if someone asks my why.” 

“What, you’re defending my honour?” 

“Nah, you can do that yourself. I’m just helping a good pal out.” 

Kyle snorted with laughter at the suggestion, the smile seeming to lift his entire body. They continued along until they were down to two last eggs, lightly tapping them against each other in a cheers before they got ready to throw. 

A car began to pull into the driveway. A cop car. 

“Oh,” Kyle took a couple of steps back. “Uh…Lola’s dad’s a cop.” 

“Well shit.” 

He glanced at the house, sufficiently decorated with egg-y goo, before he turned back to the car and launched. 

The egg cracked nicely against the side of the car. Kyle dropped his own on the street as he gaped at the mess. 

“We should run,” Craig offered. 

The pair started off, dropping the egg carton on the way. Craig grasped hold of Kyle’s hand as he quickly turned a corner, eager not to have them separated. If he was going down they were  _both_ going down. Maybe the cop would have sympathy on them knowing they were just a couple o’ boys avenging a broken heart. 

If not, maybe he’d blame Kyle instead of Craig, seeing as he knew Kyle had recently been dumped. 

“Shit!” he stumbled as he caught his foot on a bin bag in an alley way between a couple of houses, heading towards the park. Kyle kept up with him, side by side, as they ran from the faster approaching shouts of Lola’s dad. 

He turned a corner, glancing behind for a moment to see how close the guy was, before he smacked straight into a broad man. He let out an  _oof_  as the force of it sent him reeling backwards, crashing against Kyle who yelped as they toppled down. 

They looked up to see Officer Barbrady looming above them, eyes covered by the sunglasses he seemed to  _still_ be wearing at night time. 

“Move along boys, don’t-!” 

“Barbrady!” the distant voice shouted. “Detain those hooligans!” 

Which was how Craig ended up in the holding cell at South Park police station with the resident Jewish kid, waiting patiently for his parents to come and collect him. 

* * *

Craig looked up from his place on the bench as the bars opened and slammed shut. Kyle had a scowl on his face, which seemed almost paler than usual. He wasn’t sure if that was credit to the lighting in the place or the fact he’d just got off the phone with his parents. 

The redhead slumped down next to him and the officers left them in silence to ‘think about what they’d done’, Lola’s father having given Kyle a thorough chewing out on learning how to let things go and how revenge never pays. Craig had been right in the assumption of the man having some sympathy on them for avenging a boy with a broken heart, but it didn’t stop him from manhandling them into the cells and lecturing them for half an hour solid. 

He probably would’ve continued if one of the other officers hadn’t pointed out he’d finished his shift hours ago and needed to head off. 

“My parents said that they’d get me after dinner,” Kyle muttered. “Apparently my  _mother_ thinks it’ll do me good to sit and think about what I’ve done.” 

“Yeah. That sounds like your mom alright.” 

“What about you?” Kyle asked. “When are they coming for you?” 

He shrugged. “Whenever, I guess. I was kinda hoping to call Clyde’s dad instead, but…one of the officers on duty drinks with my dad. He’d already rang him before I could.” 

“Sucks, dude.” 

“Yeah.” 

Kyle stretched his shoulders out, trying to get comfortable in the cramped cell. “I guess we’re both here indefinitely then.” 

“Seems so.” 

“Wanna…tell me why you were egging a random house in the first place?” 

“Do I have to?” 

“We are in here for the long haul. Gonna have to find something to talk about.” 

Craig huffed out through his nose. “I had a fight with my dad. He pissed me off so I left. Needed something to…get rid of all the excess energy.” 

“Was it worth it?” 

A satisfied smirk settled across his face as he leant back against the wall. “Definitely. Wanna talk about Lola?” 

Kyle furrowed his brows. “You sure you wanna know?” 

“Like you said, we’re in here for the long haul.” 

The redhead released a long sigh into the cell. “We hadn’t been dating that long, I guess. A month, maybe two? She’s in my AP English class.” 

“Smart girl.” 

“Yeah. Smart enough that she knows how to get what she wants.” 

“How did you even catch her…what was it you said? Flirting with older men?” 

He shrugged. “I was out with Karen. Sometimes when it’s rowdy at home Kenny sends her to my house, seeing as we live so close, and she hangs out with us and watches TV or something. She needed to go to the shop, you know, the twenty four hour one in town?” 

Craig nodded. 

“So I offered to take her. We passed Lola on the way, standing outside on her phone, but before I could talk to her this-this  _asshole_ walks out with a couple of bottles of wine and slips his arm round her waist and-!” 

Kyle’s words choked off. Craig looked away, giving him the privacy to school his expression into something less pained. It held all its usual fury and anger, but with a wetness that made Craig uncomfortable to see. 

“So I tried to punch him.” 

Craig let out a snort of surprised laughter before he clamped his mouth shut. 

Kyle chuckled next to him. “It-no, it is kind of funny. I went for it and Lola stopped me, taking me away and was all like,” he pitched his voice in a mocking rendition of a woman. “’Don’t you get it, Kyle? I’m just getting some free booze, shit, don’t be a stick in the mud’.” 

“So did you punch her?” 

“No, I didn’t punch her.” 

“You should’ve punched her.” 

“Maybe,” Kyle agreed. “But Karen was with me. So I told Lola to shove it up her ass and took Karen into the store and she got me cheap ice cream and put on her and Kenny’s favourite chick flick that she promised would make me feel better.” 

“Did it?” 

“Not really. Sort of. I think it was more the sentiment that made me feel better than the movie.” 

“Tricia’s like that,” Craig confessed. “Whenever dad and I have a fight I leave the house, and when I get home she’s always got Red Racer on the telly waiting for me, and dad’ll be upstairs or something to give us space to watch it. Like, you know that all’s forgiven when that happens. If I get home and mom’s sat downstairs it means there’s gonna be hell.” 

“Christ,” Kyle grimaced. “Mothers. And hell. Maybe staying here for a bit longer won’t be so bad.” 

Craig smirked across at his cellmate. “I’m glad to know I’m better company than your mother.” 

“I just want you to know I’m totally going to blame you,” Kyle gave a playful nudge. “Spin her some tale about how the Tucker boy goaded me into throwing eggs at Lola’s house to make me feel better.” 

“I’d complain if that didn’t paint me in a better light than reality.” 

Kyle laughed at the comment. It was loud and filled the room, just like the boy himself. Craig looked away again, though this time it was more to protect his own dignity than Kyle’s. 

“I just feel like every time I meet a nice girl she turns into a bitch,” the redhead confessed as he sobered. “Maybe I’m doing something wrong.” 

“Maybe you just need to meet a nice boy instead.” 

He surprised himself and refused to look up after he said it, frightened to see Kyle’s reaction. 

“Maybe. Or maybe I need to cut my losses and meet a bad boy.” 

The cell fell quiet. Craig looked up with wide eyes at the flirtatious tilt to the boy’s voice, and Kyle’s face quickly darkened with a pinkish hue as his green eyes flickered away for a moment, a sheepish smile spreading across his face to match. Craig felt his heart thud against his ribcage. 

“That…was awful,” Kyle admitted. “I’m sorry.” 

Craig felt his own smile break out across his face. “A bad boy, huh?” 

“Shut up,  _Tucker_.” 

“Am I a bad boy?” 

“You were throwing eggs at some rando’s house just cause you had a tiff with your dad. And, I’m sorry, but who spends half his breaks at the counsellor’s office?” 

“You get in worse shit than I do. What were you in detention for last week?” 

Kyle grinned widely. “Helping Stan decorate the biology classrooms with fake guts in protest of breeding animals for school experiments.” 

“Yeah, exactly. I would never do that.” 

“You were in that same detention.” 

“Because I skipped out on gym, not for vandalising school property.” 

There was a loud bang followed by laughter from somewhere else in the building, cutting a quick end to the banter the pair had been building. Craig found himself twisting his fingers around as he sat next to Kyle Broflovski, who he was all too aware of, sat there fidgeting away in his spot. 

“Wanna play would you rather?” 

“I’d rather not, but if you insist on filling this silence with something…” 

What started as would you rather devolved into Craig acting out Clyde’s latest dumb escapade in the library, while Kyle laughed that all consuming laugh before he launched into a full rant on why he hated their Geography teacher and how he was certain the man was out to get them. What was Geography turned to Physics, where the pair had a back and forth on what the teacher taught them compared to what they should be learning, and how Craig was still annoyed he got detention for correcting the idiot who thought he could teach. 

Kyle was book smart, that was for certain, and a lot more academically inclined than he was. But he was also eager to learn, and while he talked a lot, was also happy to listen to Craig talk about things he was interested in, and actively engage and question what he wanted to know. They were half way through Craig’s ramblings about black holes before there was the noise of a door opening, revealing a policeman entering the holding cell room. 

The pair were sat on the floor, knees almost knocking together, when Thomas Tucker arrived glaring down at them both. But Craig knew his dad, and he knew that while he was glaring when his dad was angry his face turned bright red, just like his own. There was no heat to this glare. It was just for show. 

“Thanks, Mitchell. I owe you one.” 

“No worries,” the officer opened the cell. “Just make sure your boy knows not to go egging houses in the middle of the evening. Or at all.” 

Craig glanced across at Kyle, who had turned to his hands in his laps. 

“Both of you,” Thomas said with a gruff voice. “Up and out. I’m taking you home.” 

Kyle snapped his wide green eyes up. 

“Your mother rang me, and I said I’d get you both. No reason for both mine and her evenings to be ruined.” 

The teens scrambled to their feet and followed the burly man out the building, passing a couple of officers who gave them exasperated looks. They stopped at the entrance and Thomas forced them both to turn around and address the room with an apology, standing behind them the entire time with the firm glare on his face. 

Humiliation over, the pair piled into the back of his dad’s car, and Thomas drove them first to the Broflovski home in a silence that would’ve been tenser if the boys in the back weren’t constantly shooting each other secret smiles and sniggers. Once they arrived Craig made the excuse of wanting to swap to the front seat as he jumped out the car to say goodbye to Kyle. 

“Thanks for tonight,” Kyle faced him head on, smile on his features. “I feel a lot better.” 

“Cool. No problem.” 

“Maybe you’re not as bad as you seem.” 

Craig scoffed. “Don’t go round telling people. I don’t want them getting funny ideas.” 

Kyle grinned wide, stuffing his hands in his pockets. “I guess I’ll…see you at school? Or something?” 

“Yeah,” Craig nodded. “Or something.” 

Kyle began to walk down the path to his house, and Craig saw the furious gaze of Sheila Broflovski staring him down from the living room window. Kyle paid no heed, instead turning as he got half way down the path, looking a little uncomfortable despite the smile on his face. 

“Also…” the redhead started, before he found his voice and stood his place strong. “The more I think about it, the more I’d like to meet a bad boy.” 

Craig tried his best to hide his smile. He didn’t do very well. “Yeah?” 

“Yeah. If-if you’re interested, or maybe, if you know any bad boys…you know where my locker is, right?” 

“Yeah.” 

Kyle grinned. “See you tomorrow, Tucker.” 

Craig waited for the boy to be in his house before he got back in his dad’s car, hiding a stupid smile behind the back of his hand as he turned his gaze to look outside the window and attempted to gather his composure back. He could feel his dad’s stare on him from time to time, knowing the man wanted to say something, but didn’t quite know what. 

“You know…” Thomas started, clearing his throat as he did. “That Brolovski kid. He doesn’t seem so bad.” 

“Dad…” 

“I’m just saying.” 

It was the offer of a truce. Thomas’s own weird way of apologising without actually having to utter the words ‘I’m sorry’. Without actually having to admit he was wrong. 

Craig turned his gaze back to the street outside. “Yeah. I guess he’s not so bad.” 

When they got home Tricia was already on the couch, Red Racer loaded into the DVD player as she sat playing some game on her phone. Thomas made sure the pair knew to keep it short this time, that they both had school the next day and that Craig wasn’t off the hook yet. But then his mother appeared with the leftover food he’d abandoned earlier that evening, checking he was alright before clipping him round the back of the head for being a ‘stupid boy’, and left her children to it. 

Tricia flipped her parents off as they disappeared upstairs, Craig not wanting to try his luck on this occasion. 

When he got to school the next day he found Kyle Broflovski by his locker, who offered to walk him to his first class, passing a girl he didn’t remember the name of on the way who shot them a nasty look, to which the pair fired matching middle fingers in her direction. 

**Author's Note:**

> This was mostly a silly little thing to try and get my creative juices flowing so I'd be able to write more of my chapter fics that I've ground to a halt with. 
> 
> It didn't really work but hey it was still fun to write!


End file.
